“When I first started singing Love To Love You Baby, I saw repressed women all over the world throw their bras on stage during my act. They were craving the intimacy you get when you are uninhibited.”-Donna Summer
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Intimacy is not who you let touch you. Intimacy is who you text at 3am about your dreams and fears. Intimacy is giving someone your attention, when ten other people are asking for it. Intimacy is the person always in the back of your mind, no matter how distracted you are.
I assure you it’s fatal—but I never can resist the desire for intimacy, or reconcile myself to the fact that all human relations are bound to be unsatisfactory.
Intimacy is really the ability to fuse your identity with someone else’s without the fear that you’re going to lose something yourself.
The twelfth house is invisible, and perceived only through feelings, sacred imagery, divine intimacy and intepersonal communion. In a sense this gives a good idea of the landscape of the twelfth house. It almost exists on an incomprehensible layer in the individual, and could be perceived and understood more acutely from their company. People with a lot of eighth house planets are powerful in their imprint and leave a resonant energy, they jolt their company and arouse potent senses within them. The twelfth house on the other hand swells transparently, like a tidal wave that drifts in and out, bringing in the undercurrents of others in the process then releasing them back out in liquid energy music. People with a lot of twelfth house planets are not always profound mystics who dwell in Neptunian wonderlands. But they are individuals who live a conceivable ordained daily life and yet harbor an inconceivable depth, acute perception and innate understanding of severe suffering. They understand the psychological dynamics of people after short periods of consultation and see their own divinity through the eyes of others. Like the Sun at fall in Libra, the twelfth house weakens the expression of the signs energy wherever it is placed. It’s almost locked away, and the individual is forced to trek through its waters blinfolded and bound. It’s so weak, really, that unless the individual is spiritually engaged, it expresses through the simple daily life twelfth house person who has no idea about the profound celestial power stirring in his soul.
Don’t be slutty, don’t have sex. But be sexy. If you’re too sexy though and you get raped, then that’s you’re own fault because you’re not actually supposed to listen to us about being sexy, even though we tell you your value is derived from how sexy you are. If you get into a position of power, we will assume that you used your sex appeal to get there and not your brains and we will mock you even though we told you the only thing that mattered was your sex appeal. Make yourself accessible to me, but holy shit stop being so desperate and needy. Don’t be a tease. If we want to have sex with you, don’t friendzone us, even though we just fucking told you not to have sex.
One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)
Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.
Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.
Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.
Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)
Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.
Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.
Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.
Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.
Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.
Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love” (via dorkvader)
i feel like this should be published and sold everywhere
(via the-hammer-of-fenris)
Codependency isn’t sexy. It isn’t romantic. It’s built with a fuse and will surely burn out. The healthiest thing you can say to the one you love is, “I would be okay without you, and that’s why I choose to stay.”
don’t romanticize basic rights
it’s not attractive that a man is a feminist
it’s not sexy that a man finally realizes the prejudice against women and how very oppressed women are
it’s common sense

